mspixieears’s dream blog

dream, Tue 17/11/09

Quite some convoluted dreaming. Let's see how I go with getting them down.

Again, on some sort of school or family-type camp. I think we're in the Philippines. I'm spending a few days some family friends for some sort of special occasion - I can't remember which exactly.

The next part of the special occasion requires myself and my brother to fly to Auckland to take part in some video game-inspired tournament. We can't go, as we can't afford to. Also, I'm looking after my family friends' siblings as they are too lazy to. I have to pack up my room at camp, as well as theirs and we all have to be out by 5pm. I also have to pack up my mother's room. I'm stressed.

They fly off to New Zealand and I feel very lonely. So lonely that I want to spend time with my mother but she has to go to work. I begin to wander around the Philippines and go to some shopping centre. I'm sifting through comics and Peanuts stickers when I stumble across a class for children. They are doing some sort of improv/theatre workshop. I see 'Oulipo' mentioned and jot down the title of the book they are working from which is translated from Italian. The teacher invites me to talk about Oulipo.

They peer at my legs and bind them and ask me to pirouette. I tell them that my legs do not have hair because I felt it kinder to those who might see them, in the heat of the Australian sun.

I suddenly found myself in my old village. There were lots of bars. I went to one and ordered a pint of Carlton Draught and the bartender said it was the last one left. I didn't want to drink the last one, so I told him I'd be back when I had money and would order something else. I thought about calling @casus_belli to see if he fancied an impromptu drunkard session.

* * *

Then all of a sudden, I was dining and drinking with @rperdio and @tristankenney. Ryan took us to some swanky joints and I found myself at a table with my old schoolmates - Evan, Damien, Frank, Steven M. Someone was marrying Jane and they were cutting glass bowls to steal. I disapproved but drank my gorgeous alcoholic drink.

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dream, Mon 27/7/09

I haven't been dreaming much because I've been needing to take zolpidem (Ambien in the States, Stilnox in Australia) to get to sleep. Either I don't dream (unlikely, I've been told) or I just don't remember them.

I did forget one dream during the Stilnox-taking period, just one.

Monday morning's dream was interesting, as when I woke up, I felt physically ill, purely because of the content of my dream. In the dream I had binged on cheese (very like me in real life!) that wasn't particularly good quality, but couldn't stop eating it. Later on, I ate chicheron (Filipino-prepared pork rind, of which I am extremely fond though I try to avoid supremely unhealthy snacks!).

We were in a place that reminded me of the Philippines (I did live there for a year in my childhood). I was hiding from someone, following them stealthily. My mother then appeared and dressed me in beautiful jewellery. Then I had to attend @rperdio's brother's birthday and wrote "fucker" on the envelope of the birthday card and was scared that my parents would disapprove. The word appeared in a sentence, and there was also some French but I cannot remember what I wrote fully. My father was dressed, ready to attend the birthday party.

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dream, Sun 21/6/09

(It's funny, I didn't think I remembered my dream today, and then my mother came home and as soon as I saw her, some of it came back to me.)

Mum wanted to take me to the Philippines on a holiday. I said that while I didn't mind going, I hated that I had no freedom and wasn't allowed to go out and roam.

* * *

Myself and my mother were at an old family friend's. Mum was making all sorts of wonderful things in the oven of her friend's whereas our family friend was making greasy, dry things. This family friend lives a few streets away from my Australian parental home and there were a few of us occupying the bedrooms.

Things then moved to a classroom. My old high school. We were in our year 9 classrooms but for some reason had to be moved up to our year 10 ones early. There was much confusion. Lately, this seems to be a recurring dream of mine, where despite having completed a university degree, I'm made to go back and do my final high school year and I somehow know that I'm going to fail all my final exams and am trying to find a way to break it to my parents gently.

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dream, Fri 29/5/09

(I haven't been sleeping well so seem to be dreaming more again.)

A whole bunch of people I know and myself are in a field, playing some weird version of football. My brother is there, and I explain to him why I don't really like spending time with him. I tell him that I was annoyed he didn't visit or call while I was in hospital, and feel that once his wife got what she wanted out of me (as a bridesmaid), she forgot all about me. He explains to me that he didn't want to deal with anything unhappy straight after he got married. I reply to him that he cannot expect to ever be forgiven.

* * *

We're in the Philippines and I go to a house. Outside the house a whole bunch of EMSians are crying because ES's mother is dying and apparently she is well-loved by the EMS community. MD stops me and asks me why I am here. I tell him a friend of mine is dying - s/he won't yet die and this person has yet to find out, but they are dying. For some reason I know before them.

I am walking along the dirt/gravel road and SB and SM are there, in school uniform. I go up to SB and say, don't you recognise me? He does, but he pretends I have him confused with someone else he knows. I shrug and continue to walk along the road, alone.

* * *

I just remembered another amazing fragment - RI had this bag full of Tom Paine books - for some reason Common Sense was available in several large tomes. He was on his way to the library to photocopy them all as he'd borrowed them from the library. I thought he was insane to be photocopying so much.

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dreams, Sat 25/4/09 & Sun 26/4/09

Sat 25/4/09

I was driving around in the Philippines, in the village one side of my family is from. I was trying to find parking and was frazzled because I was warned not to get out of my car or people would attack me. The roads were so narrow. Eventually, I did find parking, next to some sort of tractor-type thing. A man was operating it, digging earth. I stepped out of my car. I knew I wasn't supposed to park where I did. As if to prove this point, the ground around me began to bleed lava. I stepped and jumped around gingerly, to avoid being burnt by it.

This next dream contains sexual concepts which some may find distressing. Kindly discontinue reading if you are not comfortable with this.

Sun 26/4/09

In the first 'story' of the dream, I was actually two people - an eleven-year-old girl, and a fourteen-year-old girl. We were these beautiful brown (that is, darker than me) girls of Malay-Asiatic origin). I kept swapping between the two personalities. This muscly Pacific Islander man wanted to sleep with each of us. He eventually managed to sleep with the eleven-year-old me, telling me that he would be gentle (I was still quite small whereas he was fully grown). I was petrified, but he was gentle. We showered together in this insanely modern bathroom that seemed to exist in a more run-down shack-type house that reminded me of my provincial Filipino grandmother's house. There was quite a mess to clean off. Soon, the man slept with fourteen-year-old me, not realising that I was a virgin. We also showered to clean the mess in the same uber-modern bathroom.

Then the second story of the dream began. I was driving up a dirt track, past a giant television implanted into the ground. I passed a tin shack with women screaming. I knew that they were being tortured. A very broad Australian man's voice talked casually over the screaming. I found it highly distressing.

I don't remember how it happened, but after driving over the hill, I found myself part of some American secret army operative in Mexico. They were killing informants who had ceased to be informants and were allowed to return to America. The Mexicans didn't want the informants going back to tell Americans what Mexico was like. I drove around in a jeep (more similar to a Filipino jeepney than an army vehicle) and watched Mexican peasants wailing over people being killed. They thought it was their loved ones in body bags on the sides of the roads but it was really informants. This man in our team accidentally killed one woman in our team - she was the smartest. To save us, she scooped up a bomb and ran as far away as she could from us, sacrificing herself. She went to a building and the bomb blew up. When it detonated, an undiscovered ancient Aztec-type building was revealed.

Our team was then all of a sudden in a house, trapped inside with a lethal snake. One of us caught it and put it into a tube similar to what architecture students carry around with them. This same idiot who accidentally shot the smart woman in our team accidentally let out the snake. A family friend suddenly arrived and tried to vacuum it up. Another member in our team caught it by hand but it bit him and he died instantly, sitting on a desk. Eventually we realised, and found the snake next to him. It was caught again.

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