mspixieears’s dream blog

dream, Thu 5/11/09

What a convoluted dream.

I was back at uni at one of my old jobs, working for the catering department. For some reason, my longest high school crush was there. We were given a special uniform to wear, and shoes were cut into shape for us - made of moulded plastic and extremely uncomfortable to wear. My father told me to go to his Japanese colleagues food booth and make sure I ordered something to eat from there. I said that was fine, I like Japanese food.

My high school crush Steven, and my other high school classmate Louise were next to me. Louise became annoyed that we left her momentarily, but it wasn't really our fault.

After catering duties, we were made to sit in various places for some sort of theatrical production. We were supposed to be very quiet but my friend mattJames came up to me and started to squirt me with a really large water pistol. He made a point of calling his (fictional) sister Jessica to tell her he got me 'good'.

Steven and I were alone and he kept asking me why I wouldn't kiss him. I told him he missed his chance and I had a crush on him for ages but he didn't seem interested, and I'd started seeing someone, finally. He told me he was now in love with me. I didn't believe him. Then all of a sudden, we got mistaken for people in the play/theatrical event and had to pretend to be Jews. We got told our tattoos were on incorrectly. I pointed at my skin colour but they didn't seem to care that I wasn't white.

We were dressed in black and pretending to be dead.

Steven offered to take me home after work. I rescued two flea-ridden kittens and put them in my car momentarily. He convinced me to walk a little with him. I began to bawl as I said that the kittens would have been killed in the heat. He held me and told me it would be okay, and to give him my car key so he could clean the mess for me. I couldn't stop crying.

He then made me catch a bus. The bus driver made me stop because he said I looked like Dannii Minogue with the sunglasses I was wearing. I was shocked and again, said I was a little dark.

He abandoned me on that bus. He'd bought me a ticket but didn't get on with me. I looked back at him, feeling bereft.

I got off as soon as I could and jogged down a real street in my neighbourhood. I bought a paper off a gentleman in a shop to clean the kitten's dead bodies. I made it to a service station and was grazed from coming off the bus awkwardly. I smashed my hip into something and bruises started forming everywhere on me.

I began to jog home. My old schoolfriends Damien and someone else I couldn't fully recognise were coming to meet me. Damien had a meat cleaver in one hand. They bludgeoned me to death for hurting Steven, even though he lied.

I was already dead but for some reason, grasping at the blood-soaked earth at my hands. A Jamaican man appeared in front of me to tell me I was dead, and he came and took me to his house with his lovely blind grandmother and then they both looked after me.

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dream, 18/10/09

I have had a few dreams in the last few days but haven't been able to get them down.

This one, again is set in high school. Our year level was kept inside. It was a building that looked very much like B Block at my old high school. I was in what looked like cross between a massive classroom and a university library. My teacher was very strict. I had spent all day researching something. For some reason, I couldn't find a bibliographical reference. There were dirty dishes everywhere on the tables.

I got up from my seat and was trying very hard not to cry. My former high school crush saw me and asked me if I was okay. I gently brushed him off and said yes. He knew I was lying. When I thought he'd got rid of me, I hid and wiped my tears and composed myself.

Suddenly, he jumped up and told me he couldn't hide stuff like that from me. I looked at him and said, how do you always know. He just smiled at me and took me outside the classroom to cheer me up. Without warning, he said my name and asked me if he could kiss me. I wanted to, but said no, you can't, I'm with someone now. I thought he was too. He said he wasn't any longer. He said that we belonged together. I said he missed his chance - my current lover was amazing, and I just couldn't do that to him. I'd never cheated on anyone, and didn't plan to start now.

He took me to a secluded part of the building. Our old schoolmate Nat saw us and asked us if we were finally a couple. I frowned.

They still weren't letting out our year level even though everyone else was outside playing. My Year 10 coordinator was keeping us in.

Steven, my crush, took me aside and tried to kiss me. I told him I wanted to kiss him, but wasn't going to. We lay under a blanket together and he got naked and put my hand on his erect penis. I let my hand sit there but refused to move it.

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dream, Fri 31/7/09

We were drinking in this run-down house. A friend had this Brazilian or South American friend who was extremely attractive. She had lots of people stay over in makeshift beds.

For some reason I tried to call my mobile phone but wasn't able to do so. I was going out with MW but for some reason, his name was Pablo. Something happened whereby he decided to be mad at me and actually dump me but not tell me I wasn't forgiven. I set him up with another girl to show how sorry I was, despite being hurt that he discarded me so easily.

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dream, Wed 11/3/09

Some sort of surreal theatrical play was on. The stage was supported by secondhand books, as it was next to a secondhand bookshop.

I ran through the aisles of seating. I came across the boy I liked most recently, and embraced him from behind. He seemed to like that I held him so warmly. Several times, I kissed him on his cheek. Unusually, for him, it was rough and had a couple of days' growth. I didn't have the courage to kiss him on the lips, but kissed him as close as I could manage - right at the corner of his lips.

Somehow, kissing him gave me a mouthful of ants. Disturbed, I ran across an alternate version of my old university, Melbourne. I stopped every so often to pull dead ants out of my mouth. It was horrifying: there were so many.

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dream, Sun 8/3/09

I was walking up an alternative version of High St, Northcote. It was a sultry summer day, and I was waiting for a tram. They didn't seem to be coming regularly. The tram stops seemed very far apart. Eventually, I reached one and a boy I had a crush on for years in high school was there also. Next to a lamppost, there was this massive beanbag. Both of us jumped into it.

A couple from high school who are still together today came to say hello to us. We walked a while with them. They took us to a field - yellow, the grass all dried up from lack of rain. I was separated from my school crush and walked the field alone.

I came across black cats, some lying in the dry grass, one injured, one bleeding, some following me. It occurred to me that at the lamppost with the beanbag I'd left my belongings - two coats, three bags. One of those bags was a laptop bag and I was petrified of losing my laptop.

All of a sudden, I was at the same stop when I realised I was on High St. Ages away from my belongings. I was afraid they would get stolen. Again, it took me ages to get to the same stop. I walked for hours till I reached the same stop and was so relieved: my things hadn't been stolen.

When I picked them all up, for some reason I was flipping through a magazine. It had an apology e-mail from someone who had written an abusive e-mail to me in real life. I was shocked, yet found it funny.

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