mspixieears’s dream blog

dream, Thu 5/11/09

What a convoluted dream.

I was back at uni at one of my old jobs, working for the catering department. For some reason, my longest high school crush was there. We were given a special uniform to wear, and shoes were cut into shape for us - made of moulded plastic and extremely uncomfortable to wear. My father told me to go to his Japanese colleagues food booth and make sure I ordered something to eat from there. I said that was fine, I like Japanese food.

My high school crush Steven, and my other high school classmate Louise were next to me. Louise became annoyed that we left her momentarily, but it wasn't really our fault.

After catering duties, we were made to sit in various places for some sort of theatrical production. We were supposed to be very quiet but my friend mattJames came up to me and started to squirt me with a really large water pistol. He made a point of calling his (fictional) sister Jessica to tell her he got me 'good'.

Steven and I were alone and he kept asking me why I wouldn't kiss him. I told him he missed his chance and I had a crush on him for ages but he didn't seem interested, and I'd started seeing someone, finally. He told me he was now in love with me. I didn't believe him. Then all of a sudden, we got mistaken for people in the play/theatrical event and had to pretend to be Jews. We got told our tattoos were on incorrectly. I pointed at my skin colour but they didn't seem to care that I wasn't white.

We were dressed in black and pretending to be dead.

Steven offered to take me home after work. I rescued two flea-ridden kittens and put them in my car momentarily. He convinced me to walk a little with him. I began to bawl as I said that the kittens would have been killed in the heat. He held me and told me it would be okay, and to give him my car key so he could clean the mess for me. I couldn't stop crying.

He then made me catch a bus. The bus driver made me stop because he said I looked like Dannii Minogue with the sunglasses I was wearing. I was shocked and again, said I was a little dark.

He abandoned me on that bus. He'd bought me a ticket but didn't get on with me. I looked back at him, feeling bereft.

I got off as soon as I could and jogged down a real street in my neighbourhood. I bought a paper off a gentleman in a shop to clean the kitten's dead bodies. I made it to a service station and was grazed from coming off the bus awkwardly. I smashed my hip into something and bruises started forming everywhere on me.

I began to jog home. My old schoolfriends Damien and someone else I couldn't fully recognise were coming to meet me. Damien had a meat cleaver in one hand. They bludgeoned me to death for hurting Steven, even though he lied.

I was already dead but for some reason, grasping at the blood-soaked earth at my hands. A Jamaican man appeared in front of me to tell me I was dead, and he came and took me to his house with his lovely blind grandmother and then they both looked after me.

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dream, Mon 2/11/09

A rare, gorgeous dream.

Bit of background: my partner has a beautiful old and rather large ginger cat. He's not often allowed indoors because him and the other resident cat don't get along. However, given my fondness for the ginger cat, we've taken to sneaking him in partner's bedroom and he happily sits with us on the bed.

My dream for this morning was I'd wake up and feel something on my legs. I thought it was just excess of blanket or quilt, but I'd see a furry outline. It was Garbage, the said ginger cat. It felt like he was guarding me and I'd just fall asleep and wake up again as I felt him shift himself, still lying on me as I slept next to my partner, in his room.

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dream, Tue 13/10/09

Just before waking up, I had a dream that I was awake, in my bed. In the darkness, I felt my cat jump on my bed, and snuggle up next to me. Eventually, he crawled under my quilt. It was odd because I didn't hear him open my door (which he can do).

Before that, I was raking up a garden that had these weird white lettuces that weren't healthy. The garden was submerged in water and apparently these lettuces were some sort of disease in the garden. I was scared when I saw ivy as I didn't want to come across snakes that might have been hiding in it.

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dream, Mon 21/9/09

I'm in a house that looks like my house in England. For some reason, a ginger cat comes onto the front step to tell outsiders that this house is not allowed to be attacked, and to keep us safe.

My cat in real life is eating from a tray on the floor. His neck is bleeding and his head is in the tray - he appears to be breathing in water. This naturally frightens me. I keep lifting his head but it slumps back in. He is dying. I panic and a lady comes, promising to make him better but she can't. I am distraught because I am going to lose my cat.

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dreams, Tue 14/7/09, Wed 15/7/09

Tue

Again, didn’t get to jot down my dream in time so I forgot it.

Wed

In an opulent department store – I’ve seen something like it in my dreams before. I’m with a man who works there and naturally, knows his way around. He has a friend who gets mistaken for this other fellow and somehow gets roped into placing garments into shopping bags – he chooses to do this for the sole purpose of watching beautiful, well-dressed women – specifically their legs.

There are two of us in parts of the department store where we shouldn’t be. There is a guard hunting for us. I pass a display of glass boxes filled with water. They have examples of beautifully manicured hands and feet in them.

* * *

Some sort of university setting – and some sort of scavenger hunt thing. We’re divided into groups and my group has to carry these very heavy medieval blade-axe type things. I’m eventually led to a room and a senior female lecturer is giving a talk on some song cycle as a naked woman plays along on a musical instrument I’ve never seen. She appears to be singing in Yiddish. I only know this because another girl in the audience interrupts her to have a conversation with her.

* * *

I have this boyfriend who has an autistic brother and a black cat. In one room I am talking to both this brother and the cat (who oddly, is conversing with me. The cat answers me in English, but his mouth remains closed). I go to my boyfriend’s bedroom and he tells me I’m crazy for thinking I’m talking to a cat, but that his brother must like me to be talking to me.

This boyfriend is supposedly obsessed with me. So much so that he takes some weird alchemical substance that can kill you – he ingests it so that he will stop loving me, because apparently I don’t feel as strongly for him as he does me. He begins to froth at the mouth. I find these other magical beings in his room and we somehow manage to administer an antidote. My boyfriend becomes angry with me for getting rid of this poisonous cure for love.

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dream, Thu 18/6/09

I'm glad this one was so vivid - quite some time has passed and I can still recall quite a few elements.

A group of us went on some sort of trip to this terrible family diner. The adults were on one table, children on another. I felt a bit annoyed that I was put on the children's table, being in the awkward teen years. Though I was a teenager, I had my current mind and so was jealous of all the food that the adults had. They had cheeses, meats and all sorts of salads on offer. And cakes. For us, some cut-up cold salad vegetables. Someone threw a plate of prosciutto and I pounced on it.

We'd travelled to this horrible place by minivan or a small bus. It was supposedly on the coast of Victoria. A lot of the people on the bus were dressed in their 80s best. Most of the people were my mother's Filipino friends and their children.

We then travelled to some house that supposedly belonged to one of my mother's Filipino friends, except that this woman was married to a stern white Australian man (in reality, most of my mother's Filipino friends are married to other Filipino friends). He was gruff, but he let my father download Portishead on his computer. I kept telling my mother we had to leave. She had been given at least six cats and had to keep catching them. I had to keep catching them, actually. My mother would put them in a sack apparently especially designed to hold cats. She also stashed a rabbit and some mice there.

She was neglecting them and I was getting angry. I didn't want to keep putting them in the bag. Eventually we added a turtle to the collection. My father then bundled our family and some other people into our car and we drove away. The heat was stifling. We drove onto a river that had been topped with concrete poured over pebbles like the kind you find at an English beach. You could feel the rocking of the concrete on the water.

My brother told me that I smelt awful in my crotch area. I remember being horrified and told him to fuck off and that I hated him. I told my parents to tell him to be nicer but they didn't listen. My mother began to tell of when she went to different cities in the world to their ethnic markets. I didn't believe her.

* * *

I think before this, there was another portion of dream. I was in a film, as a teenager, and dressed in uniform. I looked completely different - freckled, fair-skinned, redheaded. Me and some other girls had this teacher who was we later learnt was a child molester. He had disguised himself as a teacher. I was intent upon having him found out, but this was very difficult, even though later on he went on to actually kipnap and murder schoolchildren. Even the boys.

There was a room like a stable. A man with a deeply pockmarked face walked out from just having practised on the concert grand piano in said stable. We were all crammed in there. We marvelled that this place had one of nine of the world's concert grand pianos in existence (yes, I know there are more in existence in real life).

I led a group of girls to one section of the school outdoors. It reminded me of going to a large British campus with beautiful surroundings outdoors. Some of the girls in a younger grade were rehearsing Shakespeare. We eventually had to run because another local paedophile came in pursuit of us.

I ran with the group, and ended up in another land - large green field, with heaps of other people playing sports.

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dream digest, Sat 23/5/09

I've forgotten one dream since I last wrote here. Let's see how well I do at recalling the last three days' dreams.

Sat 23/5/09

In some amazing house that had four wings (not the flight kind!). Some Filipino family friends were invited around and they proceeded to leave a mess everywhere - I recall most keenly that there was mud and fried chicken remains ground into the floor. There were food bowls (or trays, rather) for cats. Apparently, 2-4 cats would decide our modern mansion was their home and eat from them.

There were water bowls next to them and they had orange blobs floating, not unlike fish roe. They would jump out of the bowl and explode, leaving orange goo-mess on the floor.

Another part of the house: we were fiddling with the blinds and curtains. In another room, I drew the curtains to shield an old Nintendo and TV from the sun. There were Rumpole books around and I knew these belonged to my father.

* * *

Another dream, same night. My obese friend-bully in high school was humiliating me again. We had to do some dance for school. Some band musicians played music, and all of a sudden we were on a float and they were outside, running along. As they ran along, other regular people would pick up their instruments and jam with them. I was talking with my brother about a week-long debutante and felt it unfair that the men could wear the same suit the whole way through whereas the females had to change dresses - one new one for daytime, one new one for the evening.

Previous to this, my brother and father and I were in a house and I was threatening to kill myself because both were driving me insane in that I could not be my true self whenever they were in the same room, which was all the time. I could not even sleep alone. I was so angered by their presence and felt quite homicidal towards my brother, but eventually began dangling myself on a balcony.

Fri 22/5/09

I was an onlooker - some sort of medieval fairytale setting. There was a beautiful woman - sometimes I was her, sometimes not. Our army had captured this stunning centaur and tied up all his legs. The beautiful woman wanted to have sex with this creature. I was then watching our army wade through icy water - how it managed not to freeze them, I don't know. Somehow the troops floated despite donning light metal armour. Then we were at some sort of castle and things became bloody as people were slaughtered - of course the beautiful women were not slain.

* * *

In some strange open sort of room with a gorgeous indie comic artist who was apparently famous and regaling all on stories of her fame. These extremely attractive men would come and entertain this girl (who was me, but not really me) who was planning to go on a trip to explore the life of the indie comic artist. She had newspaper articles and maps.

Thu 21/5/09

There was this amazing lipstick that instead of being solid looked like a spring when wound out of the tube. It had been given some exotic-sounding name similar to "farfalla" (as in the pasta!)

I had another main dream this same night but I am struggling to recall it now.

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dream, Mon 13/4/09

I couldn't find my car in my primary school carpark. I was to drive to another school, as my high school self. Another primary schoolmate didn't want us to drive together despite us going to the same place.

Some weird underground tunnel excavation site. A man was throwing massive rocks at me and I appeared to be catching them. For some reason, his daughter was in hospital. Then a bus tried to drive through these intricate tunnels. It led to where my high school was having some sort of party to celebrate my last day in high school. I'd been sitting in my classroom and none of my friends would talk to me. One of my friends who also went to the same university as me was decked out in the most amazing dress - I remember that she was not well-liked in high school. My family rode away on bikes after not staying long at this expensive function that I forgot to dress up for.

Then for some reason I had to thaw out a child: we gently dipped him in lukewarm water and waited till he warmed up. He was thin, brown and scrawny for his age.

Then we were in some weird, unfinished shopping centre. In one area, there were glass shards everywhere. A cat had jumped into the shards. I picked him up and began dusting the shards off him. I wouldn't let him walk anywhere as I didn't want his paws to get shards in them. I wondered why no one else in the centre cared.

Without the cat, I ended up in a foreign language bookshop. I tried to find the French section. Some children showed me where it was: we had to hop in some papier mache display, and she uttered two words which I've now forgotten so the ground we were on rose, and took me to the book section I was after.

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dream, Tue 7/4/09

One of my abusive exes had a new apartment, and a new girl. They had a tri-colour cat (called mike-neko in Japanese) and I couldn't get close enough to stroke her. My ex fed me wonderful Japanese food, and was consummately polite, but detached, as many polite people can be.

I went into their backyard and saw a cat frozen into the soil. I picked him up and started rubbing and cleaning him till he was warm and clean enough. It was very hard work, as he nearly froze to death outside, but I managed to revive him, and held him close to me, in my arms, to keep him warm and safe.

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