dream, Tue 1/12/09

In a massive shopping centre with a family friend that everyone really dislikes (he is my parents' age and left his wife and job with no warning, to go interstate and set up home with another woman. When that didn't work out, he came back to his wife, who oddly took him back. He has also fathered a child with his wife's niece who lived with them for a time when I was still a child).

I've seen part of this shopping centre before in another dream - the section we're looking for is a grand books section.

We finally get on a lift and try to get to this section. The directions are in various Romance languages - French, Spanish, Italian.

* * *

Then we are in a car. My father is in front passenger seat and this disliked family friend is in the driver's. My brother is a toddler and I am hooking him up to his child seat. He's not liking it but I keep telling him that I need to do this to keep him safe.

We are driving through a forest and there are music books hanging from the branches - some viola da gamba books which I apparently have (though not in real life).

Then all of a sudden, my mother is there and she is only interested in the place because my uncle Edwin from the Philippines has been there. Otherwise she wouldn't care at all, as is also the case in real life.

It somehow comes about that my father is bisexual and having an affair with this hated family friend.

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Posted 2 days ago

dream, Thu 29/10/09

Again, I was going to fail some English exam in high school. I'm supposed to have read the same book I haven't finished reading in all the dreams I've had recently. I think it's a non-fiction book, and I've missed a lot of class in the second semester.

I try to call this horrible person I was semi-seeing last year. He changes his number without telling me. I call the old number and get a very angry woman instead. She is mad at this guy too - he used to live as her housemate and has left her suddenly without giving appropriate funds.

I am staying in this beautiful mansion. My family are there - and because the house is so large, I don't get to see them much. My mother has booked some sort of compulsory family holiday while I'm supposed to have my English exam which I know I shall fail. It takes me quite some wrangling to get out of going.

I find out that my brother is cheating on his wife - he's found a girlfriend. I'm furious. I voice these misgivings with my mother who says that all men are supposed to stray after a while. I say, what, even though his wife is expecting a child? Mum says especially so. I am disgusted with my brother and decide I don't ever want to see him again. I say that I will be out of this mansion as soon as my exams are over.

My brother decides I am too degenerate to sleep on this special mattress he paid money for. The mattress is made of foam and is breaking up. I accuse my brother of being a fucking hipster and say fine, I don't want anything to do with you.

* * *
I'm still in this weird mansion and apparently I have a new boyfriend, a friend I met on Twitter. This apparently helps me decide I want to be with my current real-life partner, who I keep trying to reach via the phone but can't get hold of him.

* * *

I'm trapped in some weird fairytale setting. and I think I'm an old woman. They are conspiring to kill me. What they don't know is that because I have been bitten several times by this particular snake, I'm now immune to its venom. It ends up killing them instead - that being a man dressed in a beautiful flamenco red dress and a young woman.

Then suddenly I'm in Singapore with a bunch of people. One of them stops because she wants to buy Shu Uemura. A man comes up to me to talk to me. He looks like Marc Jacobs. We get shuffled off and I say goodbye to him, marvelling over the Shu Uemura cleansing oil packaging.

A cute Asian girl gives me an eyeshadow palette which comes with cute soft toys.

* * *
Back to the old woman. I turn these quasi Greek monsters into books. The library gets mad because I don't return them to the library. I'm confused, as I tell them, they weren't books before. I meet another girl who tells me I remind her of a heroine in the Chaos Revelations series. I tell her I will look them up in the library. I do so and am confronted by my old schoolfriend Andrea. She wants to go to another section of the library. I shrug and say fine, do what you want. I find the Chaos Revelations series and there are more than four volumes and they appear to be graphic novel adaptations of Shakespeare's plays.

I go to another section of library and begin composing a tune on my flute, and writing variations upon the tune.

I introduce T to some people from EMS. Em comes up to me and tells me mean Luke will stay overseas forever and that someone else, either Rob or Felix are coming home early. She thinks I'll be sad and then I say, I'm glad Luke is gone forever, and wager a lot of other people are too.

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Posted 1 month ago

dream, Wed 8/7/09

This dream contains distressing concepts. Kindly discontinue reading if you think you might be offended.

 

I was playing with some sort of Korg-like device (am most reminded of Hobnox console and the Korg game on the Nintendo DS) and it was teaching me to manipulate a song. I was following the instructions to the letter but my brother decided he didn't like what I was doing, and didn't like the Garbage song that was playing. He told me to change it but I didn't want to, so he stuck a finger up my bottom to punish me. I screamed like I'd been raped, understandably so. I did actually shout out loud whilst dreaming as I was waking up.

* * *

I can see buildings like that at my high school. I'm running, to another posh high school. I have to run through an army camp to get there. Everyone is in uniform except me. I manage to escape and this guy won't stop following me. He asks me what my last name is and I tell him that it's none of his business.

I get to this beautiful, old-world leafy cluster of buildings. I can't find the school I'm looking for so I enter this government-type building. I go down an escalator and after that realise that I can't escape. We're in some massive shopping centre type place that transports people on escalators and conveyor belts. It takes years to see the outside world again. They've tricked us. They tell us that we're just about to get to leave, but then they won't let us hop on the appropriate escalators to take us to the exits.

After about five or so years, one of the people I'm travelling with decides to kill one of our companions by suffocating her because she insists that we're not being lied to. He kills her so easily and so coldly by pinching shut her nostrils and covering her mouth.

Eventually there's some sort of revolt from the inside and we escape but we've all forgotten how to live outside. We've spent so much time travelling on moving belts and escalators that we don't remember what to do outside.

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Filed under  //  army   brother   dream   dystopian   escalators   high school   prison   rape   shopping centre   synthesisers  
Posted 4 months ago

dream, Sun 28/6/09

I was lying on a bed next to my brother and telling him about how the maths I did at high school was more useful for people wanting to be engineers, and that the maths he did was much more practical. T was sitting at a desk, and when I asked him for confirmation, he nodded that I was correct.

* * *

Was angry and decided to storm off because T snored and stole too much bedclothes. I accidentally posted on Twitter from his iPhone about something very literary (might have had something to do with the Robert Frost lectures I've been listening to) but quickly deleted it as I was scared people would know it was from me and not him.

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Filed under  //  anger   bedroom   brother   dream   iPhone   mathematics   Twitter  
Posted 5 months ago

dream, Fri 29/5/09

(I haven't been sleeping well so seem to be dreaming more again.)

A whole bunch of people I know and myself are in a field, playing some weird version of football. My brother is there, and I explain to him why I don't really like spending time with him. I tell him that I was annoyed he didn't visit or call while I was in hospital, and feel that once his wife got what she wanted out of me (as a bridesmaid), she forgot all about me. He explains to me that he didn't want to deal with anything unhappy straight after he got married. I reply to him that he cannot expect to ever be forgiven.

* * *

We're in the Philippines and I go to a house. Outside the house a whole bunch of EMSians are crying because ES's mother is dying and apparently she is well-loved by the EMS community. MD stops me and asks me why I am here. I tell him a friend of mine is dying - s/he won't yet die and this person has yet to find out, but they are dying. For some reason I know before them.

I am walking along the dirt/gravel road and SB and SM are there, in school uniform. I go up to SB and say, don't you recognise me? He does, but he pretends I have him confused with someone else he knows. I shrug and continue to walk along the road, alone.

* * *

I just remembered another amazing fragment - RI had this bag full of Tom Paine books - for some reason Common Sense was available in several large tomes. He was on his way to the library to photocopy them all as he'd borrowed them from the library. I thought he was insane to be photocopying so much.

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Filed under  //  books   brother   classmates   dream   EMS   family   field   football   forgiveness   grass   Philippines   road   Thomas Paine  
Posted 6 months ago

dream, Sun 24/5/09

This dream contains sexual concepts that some may find distressing or offensive. Kindly stop reading if you think this may apply to you.

(It's quite amusing - I was just talking to one of my best friends last night about how my dreams have ceased to be sexual and then I have this one. Curiouser and curiouser...)

My brother and I were children (I perhaps eight, my brother about five - coincidentally the exact ages we were when we arrived in Australia from England) and we were with our father. We were in some dystopic setting, sort of underground - to be honest, it reminds me of the awesome train system in World of Warcraft. All the trains/carriages were full and it was for some reason essential to our survival that we get on one otherwise we would freeze to death. Time was running out. Eventually, we found one - it seemed to be disconnected from all other carriages and it was at a dead-end. We were about to get into it when we discovered that it was full of half-rotting prisoners. I couldn't bear the smell and my father was very stern that for survival we would have to. I insisted I couldn't, whereas my brother instantly jumped into the carriage.

It felt like some of them moved as if stirring from a very deep sleep. My father dragged out one of the prisoners and we both began to lay next to him. Unfortunately, he began to actually wake up - he wasn't dying. My father hopped into the carriage and told me to lie next to the prisoner. We were in trouble if this prisoner woke up. The carriage was open from the back and my father began to shout instructions to me. I was really confused as to why he wanted me to do what he told me to do.

My father told me to open the man's trousers. Still confused, I obeyed but struggled. The prisoner helped me. I recall quite vividly - he wore navy jean-like trousers, and the zipper and button at top were brass. The prisoner gently took out his erect member from his underwear. My father told me to put my fingers around it and stroke it. It was massive and again, I did as I was told but the pressure I put on it was too gentle. I stroked up and down the member and the prisoner told me to do it faster. My small hand struggled with this and the prisoner put his hand over mine, as if to show me, and we continued to stroke together.

I had no idea why anyone would do this - I'd seen my brother's member and it didn't resemble the prisoner's at all. I didn't understand the difference.

Eventually, the prisoner came, and he turned to his side to do so. I watched his facial expressions and kept asking my father, was he is in pain, was he in pain, why was he in pain. The prisoner finished and zipped up his trousers and explained to me that sometimes when people are really, really happy, it looks like they are in extreme pain. We both slept on our sides.

* * *

The next part of the dream I remember is two Transformers (old-school, none of this new Michael Bay shit) in an alleyway. One was minuscule, the other massive. The minuscule one was begging next to a puddle. The large one then issued a command which effectively made the minuscule one commit suicide - by going face-down into the puddle. I heard the noise of electricity and water clashing. I didn't understand why the large one would do this - they were both Autobots. I watched in horror as the Autobot badge of the large one changed into that of a Deceptacon! He laughed the laugh of the comically evil.

* * *

Then I'm fully grown and with a girl who I used to know all throughout primary and high schools, till we fell out due to her big sister's wedding. We were going shopping in this amazing underground (literally, not "underground" as in exclusive) market. I'd got into a shop and found a hideous belt. She sat nearby and we spoke to a man from Mauritius - I spoke to him in French. I found this beautiful but tacky fingerless glove/sleeve thing - it was made of stocking material and fluoro pink and black with a bit of lace trim. It was perfect for covering my scarred left arm! It even showed off a nice tattoo I had on my forearm (that which I do not have in real life).

She got angry and decided to leave without me. As she had my bag, I couldn't pay and so I left without this glove/sleeve. I got lost in the rabbit tunnels of the underground market till eventually I came across people from EMS having some weird version of Monday pub night. JW was there and was uncharacteristically nasty to me. There were several familiar faces and we ended up going back to some place to sleep. We were all paired up differently - as if our romantic partners in real life had been shuffled so we got someone else's partner. I was too dizzy to sleep.

* * *

I was at some cafe and an old schoolmate walked in. I told him Bjork was covering Radiohead's "Everything In Its Right Place" and was shocked I'd never heard the cover before.

* * *

Again, some amazing fantasy setting - a little similar to the grandeur of places in the third Lord of the Rings film. I was tall, stately, and dressed in ivory and apparently king (yes, I retained my female features but in this world was male) of this place. As I walked through, people would come up to me and link arms with me for a stroll and I welcomed them to do so. I wanted to be approachable to all. A woman came up to me, dressed in black and her bodice was jewelled black - it looked stunning. She asked me questions - hard ones, such as in all the kingdom, what would I choose as most important to keep? We walked for a while, arms linked and I told her I would like nothing more than to spend time talking and eating with my partner (who was female, and known to be female despite donning similar attire to my male-female self). She said that was a good answer. An old musty-smelling Jewish man then walked by my left side with me and sang a song. I did not know what the song was about but found it immensely comforting.

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Filed under  //  Bjork   brother   childhood   classmates   dream   dystopia   EMS   fantasy   father   friends   glove   kingdom   market   monarch   orgasm   prisoners   Radiohead   sex   singing   strolling   survival   trains   Transformers  
Posted 6 months ago