dream update, Sat 5/12/09

I seem to be having at least 2-3 dreams per sleeping session lately, but due to exhaustion, I just can't write them all down - so sorry! Usually dream #2 & #3 are quite disturbing and recollecting them would just be draining for me.

Also, wanted to say thanks to those who read and especially to those who have either on Twitter, or personally given me feedback on this blog. It really is just a personal experiment, but it's always heartening to get positive feedback from readers. I do really appreciate it. It's excellent motivation to keep this going and the blog has been an oddly rewarding commitment for me, as a writer.

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Posted 1 day ago

dream #1, Sat 5/12/09

My father agreed to accept a billet - a young American boy, who belonged to an indie music act. I don't remember the name of the fictional act but I was chuffed when Dad agreed as I'd heard of the act.

We took on him, his bandmate and the main fellow's sister. All of us were sharing a room and often together in our underwear. It was only on the last day that I got to talk to the lovely main boy - we surprisingly had lots in common. He teased me for calling 'laptops' thus - he called them something else in the US. We exchanged details and I liked him so much I picked out a book from my collection to give to him. I gave him Anais Nin's Delta of Venus. I never give away books in real life, so this was a big deal, but I knew that this book was easily replaceable.

Dad was burning this fellow's first album on some really old equipment (burn as in copy, not literally burn). I admitted the piracy to the boy but he didn't mind. I explained that my father could have borrowed my copy of the album but his pride wouldn't permit him to do so.

I think we agreed that we were going to start something of a long-distance relationship.

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Filed under  //  American musicians   Anais Nin   billeting   erotic books   father   music   pride   teasing   underwear  
Posted 1 day ago

dream, Fri 4/12/09

My family friend Michelle had a legal drug drawer like mine. We were trying to decide what she should take to sleep properly - I suggested Stilnox but we discussed its hangover effect in the morning. It was nighttime and I was with my mother and brother. We were parked by a mossy, foresty side of a road. This slimy disc creature started to chase us. There were some well-dressed teenagers who saw it first and madly scrambled to get away. My mother managed to get bitten by it on an exposed part of her collarbone. Then I was at some sort of outdoor party or gathering in a neighbouring suburb to where I live. My friend Leith was there. They called my brother and I and tied us to upright logs and doused us in gasoline then set us alight. They read out charges: my brother had had sex with a girl who then had to have an abortion. I had fallen pregnant to a love child which I was meant to have with either Steven M or Steven R - I didn't hear who. Unlike my brother who protested all the way, I immediately admitted my guilt and insisted they immolate me. I writhed in pain hoping that they would shoot me in my head for mercy, as they promised they sometimes did.

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Filed under  //  abortion   camp   dream   family   immolation   legal drugs   monsters  
Posted 2 days ago

dream, Tue 1/12/09

In a massive shopping centre with a family friend that everyone really dislikes (he is my parents' age and left his wife and job with no warning, to go interstate and set up home with another woman. When that didn't work out, he came back to his wife, who oddly took him back. He has also fathered a child with his wife's niece who lived with them for a time when I was still a child).

I've seen part of this shopping centre before in another dream - the section we're looking for is a grand books section.

We finally get on a lift and try to get to this section. The directions are in various Romance languages - French, Spanish, Italian.

* * *

Then we are in a car. My father is in front passenger seat and this disliked family friend is in the driver's. My brother is a toddler and I am hooking him up to his child seat. He's not liking it but I keep telling him that I need to do this to keep him safe.

We are driving through a forest and there are music books hanging from the branches - some viola da gamba books which I apparently have (though not in real life).

Then all of a sudden, my mother is there and she is only interested in the place because my uncle Edwin from the Philippines has been there. Otherwise she wouldn't care at all, as is also the case in real life.

It somehow comes about that my father is bisexual and having an affair with this hated family friend.

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Posted 5 days ago

dream update, Tue 1/12/09

So some of you may have noticed I've been posting 'dream #2' without dream #1.

In those cases, it usually means I've forgotten dream #1 upon waking up. There is at least one dream #1 I've yet to jot down, though the more time that passes, the more likely it is to be forgotten, sadly.

Anyway, onto today's dream.

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Filed under  //  dream   modus operandi  
Posted 5 days ago

dream #2, Mon 30/11/09

Back in my North Melbourne flat, I have a nightmare about a man standing at my door when my bedroom is closed. It turns out to be Galway (last name forgotten), the resident apartment block ghost. It is my mother who finds out what the ghost's name is.

After I wake up from having the dream about him, I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and slash my arm open.

My brother does research on the internet. Galway has not been dead long.

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Filed under  //  dream   nightmare   North Melbourne   self-injury  
Posted 6 days ago

dream #2, Sat 28/11/09

Real life background: my partner woke me up and left my house to do a few errands. I fell asleep while he was gone and my dream was a continuation of what I would have been doing plus the added surrealism of dreams.


I looked at my stereo clock and instead of it not being set, it was keeping tabs on when my partner was going to return, like a reverse timer.

I woke up and went into the kitchen of the house I now live in. I opened the fridge and in it was a can of wakame soy beans. I was thrilled. I took the can out and it was some weird gourmet sort of thing - there were indentations on the can to tell me who the can had been prepared by - a Christopher. The can had a ring pull. I opened it and to my disappointment, the can was not full of lush edamame-type soy beans in their glistening pods, but dried lentils, yellow and green. I looked for a container to put them into.

As I was wrestling with my gourmet beans, my partner was fixing my father's computer and I was thrilled with him. We might have high-fived because fixing my father's computer is semi-naughty given my father doesn't want to admit there is an awful lot of shit on his computer (in real life). I then told him I would try reading 75 books next year, if 50 books this year wasn't too much of a challenge.

I exited the patio door. Outside were people, flashing massive post-it notes - messages to people. I had one from my friend Katie. It was a really sweet message. I shouted to the crowd that I was the person the message was intended for, but no one seemed impressed.

I headed back in, and me, my partner and my mother sat down on the sunroom couch to watch an episode of Felicity where two couples on the plane are seated next to each others' partners. A child dies on the plane and has to cremated, no funeral. His grandparents and parents are devastated.

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Filed under  //  books   boyfriend   computers   death   dream   family   friends   home   Japanese food   messages   reading   real life   television show  
Posted 8 days ago

dream #2, Fri 27/11/09

Continuation of dream, but at this point, it's no longer related to previous dream and because I was blogging at an external computer (madly, I might add, so I wouldn't forget my dream), I couldn't type up the whole thing.

(Here's the first part of the dream)

After trying to stand up for Stu, a girl of about eleven called me into her house. I knew that this was going to be sort of dangerous, because her family was rich and they thought of people like me as trash. With trepidation, I followed her in. She told me I could go into parts that no one but family was allowed in. I felt like an intruding babysitter. She had a younger brother and he was playing with his toys. All of a sudden, her mother called. Panic. I hid in their workshop. As if the mother were psychic, she came and sought me out and leant down to see me hiding under a wooden workbench. She wasn't mad at either me or her daughter, and I was glad.

Then all of a sudden, I was on some sort of school camp. I was watching a comedy show - the comedians were famous, and on the stage they played theatre sport type games. I was on a seat, like a trapeze swing, with a wooden plank to sit on and couldn't see the show properly. I swung it to see while my companions sat on theirs with no trouble.

I was part of some special ops team, and there was a beautiful, blond-haired man in my team. There was a growing attraction between us, even though I was aware that I had a partner already. Despite this, our attraction grew.

At one stage, I was adamant to prove how tough I was. As a BSG Starbuck-lookalike watched on, the blond man pressed a knife into my flesh, just above my knee (not far from where I have a scar in real life). He pressed, harder and harder, and pleaded with me to give in so he could stop. I would not let him stop. I began to fade. I said to him "I'm starting to feel faint..." Again, he begged me to make him stop. I wouldn't.

Eventually, he had to take me to our black special ops van and give me first aid. As he bandaged my leg, our faces stooped to kiss. The attraction was electric but I told him I could not: I had someone I loved already.

Bandaged up, I enjoyed the rest of the visit to this location. My high school French teacher Mrs Gorey was there. The blond man was aroused when I spoke to her entirely in French. She went to the door and smoked and we spoke more French. She did not smoke in real life.

 

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Filed under  //  attraction   children   comedy show   crime   danger   dream   French   hiding   high school   injury   military   rich family   school trip   suffering   swings   teachers  
Posted 8 days ago

dream #1, Fri 27/11/09

Having a lot of trouble in the sleep department, sigh.

First dream inspired by Twitter. Dear god.

Real life background: a friend posted on Twitter that she was annoyed about not being invited to some function I was supposedly at. This bothered me, as I would never not invite someone unintentionally and I was pretty sure she was out of town at the time, or unable to attend.

Dream: She began to send me abusive e-mails and direct messages, so I had to block her. I called her ex-boyfriend with whom I am friends, and he was pretty shocked. We agreed to meet up at a pub and have a drink.

I was driving in some imaginary part of Melbourne and parked on an unfamiliar street. There were people hanging outside, but they were friendly and not threatening. I walked to a pub I'd never been to. There were beautiful women purring in gorgeous foreign accents, and they told me to leave after my one drink. Feeling deflated, I began to leave, and saw my workmate Stu there. I couldn't believe we had bumped into each other. He was very drunk and vague.

I left and a family friend picked me up by car. He was driving the wrong way to my car, and I told him so, and he turned around and drove me to my car.

I was staying at some strange place. It reminded me of the old Olympic Village houses in Heidelberg. Stu was in the frontyard, with smashed longnecks of VB beer. A man was yelling at him to go away and I stepped in to defend him.

 

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Filed under  //  dream   drinking   friends   pub   Twitter   workmates  
Posted 9 days ago

dream, Thu 26/11/09

Please do not read the following if you are easily offended, it contains some graphic description of bodily functions.

I only remembered a snippet of my dreams today. I didn't take my night meds last night.

 

I was continually wiping my bottom after having done a poo. I had to keep wiping repeatedly, but it wasn't because I was cleaning up faecal matter, but some kind of mucus that was leaking out of my bottom (to be honest, the kind of mucus that is common if you have irritable bowel syndrome). It was disconcerting, more than disgusting.

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Filed under  //  defecation   dream   faeces   irritable bowel syndrome   mucus  
Posted 10 days ago